Big Careers Little Kids (BCLK) hosted its 2019 Spring Networking Event at the Chicago office of Kirkland & Ellis on April 2, welcoming over 100 professional women in the fields of law, finance and business. The theme was ‘The Mindful Leader: Gaining Your Edge by Building Resilience’, with a focus on mindfulness techniques to help professional women, especially working moms, navigate life’s challenging moments at home and at the workplace.
Dr. Kristen Race, author of the acclaimed parenting book Mindful Parenting and creator of Mindful Life™, gave a vibrant presentation on mindfulness and resilience to stress as a valuable guide and tool to thrive in the context of what our daily lives present. Dr. Race shared her experiences as a working mom and what inspired her success in practicing mindfulness and building her career:
“As I grew my business, I was fixated on this idea of a work/life balance. Work in that corner, family in that corner and don’t let them mingle. If I didn’t let them mingle, I was succeeding. Problem was, they always mingled. I would be working and receive a text from my daughter that her wire broke on her braces. Or, I would be driving carpool and my phone would ring from a business associate that I just couldn’t miss. This mingling felt like failure.
Then, I thought more about this paradigm. What I realized was work/life balance was an illusion that I couldn’t make happen. I couldn't control all of the annoyances that were throwing my sense of balance out of whack, but I could control my response to those annoyances. I found that control by learning how to balance my brain. Simple daily practices help me balance my brain, and when my brain is balanced, I feel balanced in all areas of my life.”
Dr. Race also shared her cutting-edge research on the effects of stress on our brains, our work, our happiness and our relationships in today’s fast-paced world. She outlined three simple, brain-based mindfulness practices for today’s executives that you can implement right away:
When we practice a meditation, such as mindful breathing regularly, we strengthen the part of our brain that helps think clearly when we are upset, helps us regulate our emotions and helps us to lead effectively. Mindful breathing is merely bringing your awareness to each inhalation and exhalation. When your mind wanders, simply notice where your thoughts have gone and bring your awareness back to the next breath. Dr. Race recommends 3-5 minutes of this practice daily and linking it to something you already do.
When we become stressed (triggered) we only breathe in the top quarter of our lung. By pausing and taking one or two slow, deep breaths our body signals our brain to bring our prefrontal cortex back online. This allows us to respond to situations thoughtfully rather than simply reacting impulsively. Dr. Race recommends picking one thing in your week that chronically triggers stress (e.g., getting out of the house in the morning, a meeting with a tough client) and commit to using PBR during those times. Then, add PBR to other situations that trigger stress.
Each evening, reflect on three good things in your day and share them with someone. Research shows that when we do this every night for two weeks, we feel less burned out in our jobs, we are less anxious and depressed, we are happier, feel more balanced and we even sleep better! Dr. Race suggests forming small groups for this practice to maintain accountability.
There is an immediate sense of camaraderie walking into a room of women that share the rewarding and difficult experience of balancing busy careers and family lives.
